Similarities between Men and Dogs
82The Saying, "MEN ARE DOGS"
As a woman, I have many of times heard a man being called a ‘DOG’, but have never actually taken the proper time nor have I given proper thought to how true this may actually be, until recently. The similarities are astounding and I now I fully understand the meaning behind the saying, “Men are Dogs”.
FACT ONE-To Understand a Man
Men are like dogs because just like a dog, a man will bark and get all worked up when another dog gets too close. This is his way of saying, "DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.-But if you open the gate and let him lose for an afternoon-you will soon learn that he knocked up the pooch that lives down the street.
How many women out there have experienced a man that wont let other men near his woman-yet when he is let out of the house he is barking up all sorts of other ladies?
WHAT A DIRTY, DIRTY DOG!
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FACT TWO-To Understand a Man
Men are like dogs because they are always trying to bury their bone somewhere, whether you want it or not. Dogs will dig up flowers, grass or what ever else is necessary to bury their bone. Men will find the closes bed (or dark corner) and bury his bone in just about anything that lays still long enough. Doesn’t really matter if it is in your backyard or front yard-they just want it buried.
CUTE WHEN YOUNG!
FACT THREE-To Understand a Man
Men are like dogs because they are loyal when you are close by-but roam when you are gone. Point being, when you go out of town to your mothers house for the weekend, where is that Dog of yours? Who knows, because where a dog is concerned, out of sight out of mind-but when you return; he will be over joyed to see you and show you just how much he cares…until the next time. Perhaps consider a kennel or taking the dog with you next time you leave town?
FACT FOUR- Men are like dogs because if you start petting the neighbors dog-they get very jealous…but every time your best friend stops by they think it is acceptable to drool and pounce on her. Why is this? Why do men always make comment about our attractive friends like they are meat and we do not take offense to these comments? Duh…at least wait to pounce on someone we don’t know.
FACT FIVE-Understand a Man
Men are like dogs because if you wave a treat in front of them…you can get them to do all sorts of tricks. This is especially good when you are not in the mood to do chores-if a man thinks he is going to get a little something, something from a lady-he will do more than get on all fours for you.
FACT SIX-To Understand a Man
As with most dogs, their bark is often much tougher than their bite. Men will talk all sorts of sh*t, but when adversity confronts them-they will bow their heads and put their tails between their legs as they walk away from being defeated. Awwwwww….
FACT SEVEN-To Understand a Man
No matter their size or their breed, every dog will act like the big dog around-until they are put in their place. See FACT SIX for further reading on FACT SEVEN.
FACT EIGHT-Understanding Men
How does that old saying go? Oh yes, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, which is why you must catch them when they are young so you can train them well and get them to their full potential. The same goes for men-they are much easier to mold when they are boys than when they are all old and gray-and believe they know everything.
FACT NINE-To Understand a Man
Men come in all sorts of shapes and have different styles and have experienced different upbringings-but just as they say about canines; a Dog is a Dog…No matter the breed, watch them closely, it is their animal instinct to act like a dog.
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FACT TEN-To Understand a Man
Dogs run and hide when they know that you know they have done something wrong, I have also noticed that men have a strong tendency to do the same, because when in trouble-they try to avoid the issue all together, rather than deal with the issue at hand to solve the problem. For some reason they never see that their behavior is the issue???
CONCLUSION-
It is a doggy dog world lady… We must learn to run with the dogs or lead the pack; something tells me leading the pack may get us where we want to be a whole lot faster that letting the dogs sniff things out and determine the direction.
FOR THE PROCESSES
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE SUBJECTS?
THE EXPERIMENT
Every scientific hypothesis needs an experiment to go along with it, right? Right
No matter the dog, a good bath and some sedatives can make them appear clean and well behaved; I have come to find that the same goes for a man.
Truth is men are not Dogs- as much as we would like to think of them as these lovable animals. How can we be sure, easy? There is one thing that a man can not do that is a distinguishing characteristic of a dog, which is…lick his own balls.
Although I am sure every guy would do so if he could- a man is not proportioned in such a way that it makes it easy or even possible for him to lick his own ‘balls’. However, this is something that is commonly done by dogs. I suppose Mother Nature had to distinguish a discernible difference between man and dog, other than the possession of thumbs. Sometimes… I would take the dog over the man, I am sure the dog would cause far less headaches and show far more pleasing, loyal behavior than the guy.
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nighthag,
wow- that was quick :) you caught this one moments after I pressed publish :) Thanks for reading- I am so glad that you laughed and enjoyed the hub :P
Thanks for the laugh this morning H.C Porter. I needed that. I loved the video too. Keep up the good work.
carrie450-
Thanks for your comment :) Glad I was able to give you such a laugh...keep smiling- hope you are well :)
WOOF !
This was such a fun read, thanks! I would like to add that I have found that men get to be like their dogs! We have Jack Russells, a bit whiskery, feisty, very stubborn and inclined to be deaf to what they don't want to hear - need I say more ;-)
Oh you girls are just jealous , I saw a huge poodle the other day that both the owner and the dog acted very aloof, not even speaking to anyone just had their heads in the air , and I thought ......."just like a woman"....great hub.H.C.
Hey, I learned a lot from my dog. Loyalties, focus, protect your home, how to greet people at the door and make them feel welcome and don't put your nose in the spokes when chasing bicycles.
My wife trained me with a shock collar and it worked for her. I would not recommend this for a real dog because it would be cruel! Funny stuff!!
up and beautiful! So you got us figured out, huh? Very good read, enjoyed...
Thanks for the laughs--some of this was of the laugh out loud variety.
Oh what fun, loved it. Great laugh thank you!!
I don't know if it's an age thing or if it's a dog thing, but it would be handy if I could quit drooling on myself.......
Arf, arf. Or is it, "Woof, woof?"
Mike
*laugh* so funny ...
So this explains a lot. LOL! I enjoyed this - very tongue and cheek!
Silentreed, thanks for reading glad you enjoyed the hub :)
Alison Graham
love your example- my dog was very much like my husband. he stood up tall and flaunted his stuff...attracting admiration from all from how well he was kept-but if you wait until after hours...you could usually find him rolling in dirt or passed out in the back... :)
ahorseback
I am 100% sure that a hub of equal detail can be created about women... (we can be quite demanding and critical)...crazy thing is-no matter the dog-their is a snooty female out there that will love him and train him well :) Thanks for your comment and for reading-I am glad you enjoyed the similarities :)
Gnelson
I am so happy that you decided to take these lessons from your dog... Specially that one about the bicycle chains... Everybody should take that advice :) Thanks for reading and commenting :)
ghomefitness,
LOL, I think you are on to something- shock collar for men-but you are quite right when saying it may be too cruel for dogs (of the canine breed), lol- thanks for the comment and thanks so much for reading :)
samsons1
LOL, Nope- not at all...I dont believe I will ever have men completely figured out. If I did- I am sure I could speak in such a manner that my husband heard something other thab bla, bla...food...bla...bla...bla...car....bla...bla...bla..NO, out of my mouth...Thanks for reading and commenting :)
ken r abell, glad i could get some laughs from this hub- figured it was a change from some of my poetry (which can be quite dark and sad at times) :) Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy this one Ken :)
acaetnna,
glad that you enjoyed the read miss- thanks for commenting :)
Mike,
LOL- glad you liked the read...I am not entirely sure if it is woof-or arf...maybe it depends on where you live? Thanks for commenting :)
Ingenira
Thanks for reading and commenting- I am glad that you enjoyed the hub :)
Veronica Allen- LOL, glad that you enjoyed the read ma'am... it does explain so much doesnt it :) Thanks for commenting :) I am glad I could get some laughter out of so many :)
LOL
I guess we can argue about this, can we? :D
In my case I would say I´m more like cats thou :)
Very funny HC, pretty risque stuff there but often true. For a pictorial view of dogs and relationships you might enjoy my "Everything I Need to Know About Relationships.." Love your easygoing style. =:)
funrider, glad you enjoyed the hub- you can try to argue...but much of this is true, and you know it :) Thanks for commenting :)
winsome- thanks for coming by and commenting. glad you enjoyed the hub :) I will def take a look at your hub-thanks for sharing it with me :)
Great hub. I love your similarities. They are so true. Thanks for a humorous write.
Namaste.
Upsss... I meant "I guess we can`t argue about this, can we?" ahahahah
By your logic, what does this make women? They are the same species so maybe this man/dog, woman/bitch theory doesn't work too well? I mean really have you ever met anyone of the feminine gender that wants "crazy bitch" as a species tag?
I also have concerns here about who is really screwing the pooch? When one lays down with the dogs the result is flea infestation? The perimeters that this theory places around men mutts are too restricting for the few of us out there with IQs over 80.
As for the training of men, well, keep trying but every pussy-whipped puppy man I've ever met is not happy--the truth I'm telling. Yes, my bark is much worse than my bite. HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If this is truth in your world--time to grow up and meet a few real men--or at least read some of their work. Honestly, I know this was meant as a good humor piece but if it barks like a dog, craps like a dog, drools like a dog--isn't it a dog?
Generalizations just don't work--so if my male counterparts and I are all dogs, at least we all go to heaven.
There, I've thrown ya a bone...perhaps you can chew on that for while...for if it's a dog's life for mankind--isn't life a bitch?
As for ball licking? Wow, I can't think of more than a million things I'd rather do. The very picture you've placed in our heads is unfortunate and demeaning. Perhaps, it's time to put Ol' Yeller down--take the bullet and shoot this rabid theory square in the head.
Tim the tool man use to say men are pigs, you're saying they are dogs--personally, men are probably more like crows then any other animal. See something new and shiny and off they fly.
Sorry, if I'm ruff-ling feathers here but I don't like to step in dog doodoo anymore than the next guy. So, perhaps, this hub has gone to the dogs?
Dog gone it! I just drooled on my keyboard--must be hungry--time to go chase some pussy.
I enjoyed reading this from beginning to end. How true it all is. Thanks for the laugh.
Well, although I cannot and would not lick my self, I did find this funny because I know it does not pertain to me :)
Mmmm, in England, we call promiscuous women, old dogs.
Hey Holly, that was an awesome read. I love the method you used to compare the two. I appreciate honored mention. I'm glad I was able to bring to life such an expression. (((Hugs))) You take care and be safe. :) Thank you so much for sharing some humor. :)
Deborah- thanks for the comment, I am glad that you enjoyed the read and got to smile from the content :)
funride, thanks for re-commenting :)... I understood, and that is all that counts :)
randslam- well- I always like to say thanks for giving some feedback...so thanks-sorry u didnt find humor in this hub...better luck next time
KoffeeKlatch Gals - Thanks so much! I am glad you liked it thank you for leaving your comment
mtsi1098
Thank you dear for taking the time to comment :) Greatly appreciated
mick s- thank you for the information :) Something to consider ey?
Cagsil- you are very welcome and you are welcome---I do have a sense of humor at times, lol... I am glad you enjoyed what I can up with- been thinking about this hub for awhile :)
I was trying to be funny. But then again, you're American and I'm Canadian--so I can't identify with Ameridog males.
You see when I hit adolescence we called ugly women dogs so this whole concept hit me as a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black. It's just not healthy in a PC society...know what I mean.
At any rate, it was well-written...sorry, for being all woof. Let's bury the bone and respect our animalistic differences...lol.
I was trying to be funny. But then again, you're American and I'm Canadian--so I can't identify with Ameridog males.
You see when I hit adolescence we called ugly women dogs so this whole concept hit me as a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black. It's just not healthy in a PC society...know what I mean.
At any rate, it was well-written...sorry, for being all woof. Let's bury the bone and respect our animalistic differences...lol.
so much fun reading this hub!!!!!
Hilarious! I think you nailed it. Ruff, Ruff!
randslam- no harm done...I appreciated the comment :) and parts were funny :) I will not comment on the bury the bone comment-since I did in fact just discuss the fact that men seam to always want to do this...LOL, no pun intended-thanks for the comment----again :)
MarieAlice-
Thanks-so happy you liked the read. My intention was just that-Thanks for leaving a comment ;)
Ray Thoughts- Thanks! Glad you like the hub, and from a mans perspective it is a great thing to know that you found the humor within the examples :)I appreciate the feedback
Smiling from one floppy ear to the other.And wishing i could.... well i wont go there . Very funny and cute hub . i love it.
great job.
Ray
You forgot to mention that "you can pat a dog anytime and he'll crawl all over you, unlike a cat who will hiss at you the moment you try and touch 'em!" Much like men, just one smile and they think they got "access"
Nice hub, I enjoyed reading it a lot.
aware- thanks so much for reading and commenting -glad that you enjoyed this less serious side of my personality :)
jasmine-
thank you ma'am---I never thought of your example, but I love it-and oh so true it is. So glad I could make you laugh and give you something fun to read. Thanks for the comment-I appreciate the feedback :)
Sorry for the double comment but i just wanted to say that what i liked most in reading this hub was its less serious nature. Again good job
I need not go on a fact finding mission... dear Holly, as
"why women are bitches" turns up 2480 results on google search but "why men are dogs" turns up 282,000 results which suggests that your hypothesis is true.
However, it also means that male humans respect their female counterparts a lot more than female humans respect male humans, in spite of all the differences of opinion males have with females they face in real life, as they do not resort to write in such a sarcastic spirit about their female lot with such mocking bone- picking zeal.
Hope you can come up with something better, productive to garner eyeballs. You are quite a good intelligent writer.
aware- THANKS :) See...I have humor and silliness within me...not just the dark/sad/ emotionally distraught feelings of self :) Thanks for the comment....again :)
jagat02-
I am sorry that you did not enjoy this hub and its silliness. The examples listed were not of a serious nature-but rather a playful look at men and their animalistic nature. If I offended, it was not my intention. This hub more so was to display another angle of my writing abilities, and a sense of humor within my personality. Do not take the examples literally nor as a truthful interpretation of how I view men, it was not meant to carry that much standing, just as it was not intended as an attack on men.
Again- I am sorry that you didn’t like the hub.
I am sorry too on behalf of all men for hurting women so much by behaving like dogs. May all men behave more like .... maybe cats. Mew on seeing a beauty like Kate Winslet and walk away from her. But I fear what comes next from such feline men - collapse of so many industries of our economy - cosmetics, fashion, textiles. What a dull sad boring world it would be. You won't feel like dressing up in your choicest black gown like a barbie doll and go to a party, as men will just mew and run away from seeing you (Just an example, don't take it literally). I am afraid, women will stop producing babies too. That would be the end of the world. Oh no ! I don't want that. Let men be dogs and women be the "nobler creation of God". That helps in keeping Earth round and happy. Your views enlighten humanity. So you better party on hubpages.
I like the humor and the intent. Great post! The thing that came to my mind as I read was the title -- Of Dogs and Men.. heh poor puppies...
jagat02-lol..well thanks for coming back by...No harm done-and thanks for the idea for a future hub "IF MEN WERE PUSSY's (cats)" I do agree with you-the differences and some of the complaints are the balance that we all need- :)
CheyenneAutumn
Thanks for the comment- I am glad that you enjoyed the hub... Poor Puppies, and poor us- we never stop trying to be dog trainers, do we? :)
LMAO!!! And you are righter than you know!!!! I BET IT GOT ALL SORTS OF JOCK STRAPS IN AN UPROAR!
Superfantasticawesomelaughoutloudfunnyandtrue!!!!!!
I was waiting for the balls comment...I was going to say something if you didn't, Men sure do get jealous of that little trick.. and I think fact nine says it all. :)
I just love this Hub, it is very clever and enjoyable to read. I especially love the added experiment and the video. Great job here H.C! :-)
Very fun to read...I was nodding my head and giggling through the whole thing! :)
paradise7
thanks-glad you liked the hub and got a laugh out of it :) and yep...I have had a few not so happy readers leave a few not so uplifting comments...guess it goes with the territory :) dogs are very territorial you know? :)
DoorMattnomore
thank you miss.... i am so glad you though it was enjoyable :) Thanks for leaving the comment-made me smile :)
Huey19 thanks- I am am glad you liked it and thought it was clever and well put together. that makes it a success
amy jane
That is exactly what I wanted to accomplish- I love reading things that I actually shake or nod my head while I am reading--I love that you were able to do this while reading this hub. :) Thanks for taking the time to read and to comment- I appreciate the feedback
there are red heads and there are red heads and then there is h c porter
a fragrance on the breeze has me pissin on the trees in this street
joking apart/i'm a dog lover /a poetry lover/i like what i read about you and if you let me in i'm house trained
thomas
me and my dog oz(black labrador)
we like our bellies scratched
we like when the shopping comes home
we like to win when we play
we think we are the bees knees
we are relatively useless and harmless
we are however secretive contemplative worriers
placed on this earth to counterbalance feminine
usefulness
let me explain
Sonnet
While watching my dog sleeping on the floor
His head in paws,I sit and watch him dream
His muscle twitch and spasm dog-like smile
Tell tales of drains jumped that are deep and wide.
The primal rush of chasing cat and squirrel,
A memory old of hunting with the pack.
Of bones gnawed and settling old scores,
Of master's censure and the ties that bind.
This creature's brain makes all these visions real,
A world within a world,just like my own.
An army of creditor's around my bed,
A fear that grows for family and friend.
We're Hillary and Tenzing on the Eiger
I can't see through this boundless snowstorm either.
wof wof H.C. Porter
Luabu- thanks for the extremely entertaining comments- u certainly got a laugh out of me- I'm glad you have enjoyed my work, and thank you kindly for the feed back on my work :)
Funny stuff! AND the comments were nearly as funny as the article itself ;0)
MysteryPlanet- Thank you, lol... I aim to please! Glad you stopped by and took the time to read, I appreciate the feedback :-)
The humor of this writing was only noticeable because it was stated at the end to be so. The impact was already made by then. You had me 'til I read this particular hub...now I am not sure. You say it a humorous thing yet I see it coming from a very real experience, and I commend you for finding it within yourself to take a "humorous" approach to it. I too have taking a beating from the opposite sex and could - but will not - speak of their faults/failures: For to what end would it serve? To cause conflict? - to keep the fires burning? - to vent the anger and the pain? Ah, perhaps that is the one reason that would justify it - the healing. Good write H.C. Potter. P.S. I just realized you wrote this hub over a year ago - no doubt your perspective is different - forgive me for being so far behind the times.
dfbishopsr - I am sorry you were not as fond of this piece as you are of my others. It was intended to gain a giggle-not a frown, and is not a reflection of my feelings towards men, but rather societies tendencies to categorize men in this manner. I am sorry if it offended in any way. Thanks for sharing your input and for taking your time to read my work. HCP
I'm bereft of words!!!!
Titusbodo- hmmm? is that a positive. loss for words or a negative one? I hope that it is positive and you were able to gain a smile from reading :) Thanks for the comment either way :)
of course i smiled...no! i laughed...but as you know, there must be a 'BUT' in the end...nice a hub H.C Porter!
Titusbodo-lol, GREAT! That is a bonus and I am glad you could laugh at the hub... I was obviously in a 'mood' when writing it, but even now, think the similarities are quite amusing- good thing I am a dog person, and although sometimes a headache-I cant imagine going for cats instead :)
You gotta be the strangest hubber I've met so far...nice meeting you H.C Porter...Moods really do wonders when they are the driving force behind pen n paper
Enjoyed reading keep up the good work
Titusbodo- lol...that is not the first time I have been told that, probably wont be the last either. Nice to meet you as well :) thanks for the title
Yaduvanshi - thank you for commenting-glad you enjoyed the hub
''similarities'' i think men are species of dogs (very nice work)
This is a joke yet still hurtful. Men are as much like dogs as women are like snakes. I suppose the author believes women are better than men. This article is nothing more than the result of low self-esteem.
Well RJ- the article was a joke, and if you are taking it to heart, as I believe that you are, perhaps the low self esteem is more so yours than anyone else. You are probably correct, some women are snakes, just as some people are rats, some men are dogs and children are like monkeys. It was an analogy that I chose to use to get a little giggle from my readers. No harm was intended, so I am sorry if the article left you hurt. My apologies.
Dr. George Pafitanis, he is Greek, from Limassol, Cyprus, he wants to be a plastic surgeon, he is a scoundrel, he seduces various women and takes them to bed without a condom, he spent several venereal diseases for women in England. He is a seductive and beautiful guy, but cold and dangerous, and therefore, deletes women as a plastic cup and to top it transmits diseases, if he does it with women who liked him, imagine what will make with their patients
nighthag Level 4 Commenter 18 months ago
lol, I really enjoyed this :) sharing it along...thanks for the great giggle